| Sunday, June 04, 2006 Still got to fine tune it, but i think its me. Simple. Heh, inspired by the song, over my head by the fray. one love.
love & rockets.
Friday, June 02, 2006 I hate to say it hasn't help me yet I thought my problems would just dissapate And all my pain would be in yesterday I poured my booze all down the kitchen drain And watched my bad habbits get flushed away I thought that that would keep my head on straight And all my pain would be in yesterday But it's true, I'm still blue But I finally know what to do I must quit, I must quit...You I thought that if i didn't go and play The sadness would get bored and go away I thought if I didn't go astray That all my pain would be in yesterday But it's true I'm Still Blue But I finally know what to do I must quit, I must quit...You I sold my guitar and my piano I thought that it was these that kept me low I thought that if only I could try and change That all my pain would be in yesterday But it's true I'm Still Blue But I finally know what to do I must quit, I must quit...You I must quit, I must quit...You
love & rockets.
Thursday, June 01, 2006
love & rockets.
Monday, May 29, 2006 Go to the circus, I heard they were hiring. Maybe they'll give you a job and save me the agony. GROW UP. Seriously. Stop it. It was fun for awhile. Now, it just gets tiring to deal with. Please. If not for the sake of me, for the sake of how STUPID,INMATURE,RIDICULOUS you look when you do it. - flustered} thats how i feel of you as a friend.
love & rockets.
Saturday, May 27, 2006 Cos then your hopes just get crushed and the feeling of excitment leaves you. Not a pleasent feeling but one you have to deal with. Deal with it, cos you were the one who excited yourself to the point of this dissapointment. I had a feeling this was coming. - So tonight, Ill enjoy dinner with whoever is coming. Cos its no use being dissapointed over nothing. I shall say that this is nothing. Really, just nothing.
love & rockets.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
love & rockets.
Tuesday, May 16, 2006 The pics from the zoo yesterday in my cam got deleated. YUP! And I really loved one of them. ALL to be exact. I fucking feel like an idiot. Im gonna cry now.
love & rockets.
Monday, May 15, 2006 I love.
love & rockets. The week-end was fun. Going to the zoo today. Though, I'm not as hyped up as I was a week ago. Ah well. - So now I'll take my heart back Leave your pictures on the floor Steal back my memories I can't take it anymore I've cried my eyes out Oh and now i face the years The way you loved me Vanished all the tears
love & rockets.
Thursday, May 11, 2006 Cos, I just want to bring you down so badly. Gonna make DAMN SURE.
love & rockets.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 Its selfish, yes. But, I hate you for it.
love & rockets. Your face has become a blur. Your voice, lingers still, faded. Your touch, feels faint, with no feeling.
love & rockets.
Saturday, May 06, 2006 JOY. I may actually fail that, together with all my other subjects. YUP.
love & rockets.
Thursday, May 04, 2006 WOAH. and already, i screwed up math,ss,geog papers. WAY TO GO! Bio, be my salvation. - Talked to gab online, he still never fails to make me smile. REALLY. haha, miss him and everyone else. I WANT TO GO BACK TO CHURCH! hmpf. My mum wont let me, cos sundays are family days! SUCK ON IT.
love & rockets.
Monday, May 01, 2006
love & rockets.
Saturday, April 29, 2006 & I lied when I said I was fine. No,everythings not ok. I'm at the verge of crying over ever little thing. Yeah,sure I'm too sensitive. Guess what? I don't really care.
love & rockets.
Friday, April 28, 2006 - This is my song goodbye.
love & rockets.
Thursday, April 27, 2006 School was not as eventful as I hoped it would be. F&N is good. Link is the key word. - Maybe I over react. Maybe, just maybe I wish my heart would break into a million pieces and never get back together. Just to be broken all over again. It hurts. Yea, like a bitch. - youreallyfrustrateme.really.youkeepdoingthis.ihatetosayit,butyou'rejustlikeher. inmorewaysthanone.iwishicouldkillmyselfforwantingyou.selfishbuttrue.iwantyousobad, sometimesicry.cosithurts.itfuckinghurts. - I've had enough. I really have. I'm ready to through my towel in and give up. - Mid years are here. Time to go mug hard. one love.
love & rockets.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006 Had english exam in the morining then headed to entertainment centre to watch, TAKE THE LEAD! I love that show, and jenna desan or whoever is so hot! CHRIST! Then headed for free scoop day at ben & jerrys! WHEEEE!
love & rockets.
Friday, April 21, 2006 But you don't really mind It's not the first time and you know it Don't you know Tell me why it is you only smile inside But when you break me into nothing Don't you know It's not like I haven't tried over and over again Stupid fights, wrong or right Goodbye I remember when you came with me that night We said forever, that you would never let me go But here I am again With nothing left inside Know I don't wanna But I gotta let you go You're the one mistake I really didn't mind So beautiful, unmerciful It took me down Too little and too late See now I know your kind You fake it easy just to please me Don't you know It's not like we haven't tried over and over again Sleepless nights, wrong or right Goodbye
love & rockets.
Thursday, April 20, 2006 Not exciting,not boring. Just good enough for me to get by. After F&N, sheena,glenna and I rushed down to yishun to watch the finals. It was good. I feel a sexy voice coming on. Rachel's funny,really. Mid years start proper in a week and if you ask me, I'd lie and say, yea I'm ready. - I feel so broken,it's not even funny. P&W today,was alright. But one of the songs hit me that made me almost cry. But I held it in, in hope that I would keep a part of me alive. - I honestly don't get you sometimes. REALLY. You confuse me. & I hate it. I hate how your hair falls on your face. The stupid way you smile. How you disturb me. I HATE IT. SO STOP IT. stop. stop. stop. stop. stop stop. stop. stop. - Pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about And that's what you get for falling again you can never get him out of your head and that's what you get for falling again you can never get him out of your head it's the way that he makes you feel it's the way that he kisses you it's the way that he makes you fall in love she's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and her killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men and that's what you get for falling again you can never get him out of your head and that's what you get for falling again you can never get him out of your head it's the way that he makes you feel it's the way that he kisses you it's the way that he makes you fall in love it's the way that he makes you feel it's the way that he kisses you it's the way that he makes you fall in love...love.... pretty girl... pretty girl... pretty girl... pretty girl... pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything pretty soon she'll figure out you can never get him out of your head It's the way that he makes you cry, It's the way that he's in your mind, It's the way that he makes you fall in love, It's the way that he makes you feel, It's the way that he kisses you, It's the way that he makes you fall in love...love...
love & rockets.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006 Sometimes I just want ME and my self destruction. Don't try to understand. Don't try to make it right. Everyone's entitled to a day they can just wilt and let a part of themselves die. THEY ARE. Surprise surprise, this has nothing to do with someone i like/love/adore/go gaga over. For the first time in a long time, I'm finally seeing whats really killing me. And I just want to wallow in it. I want to cry and just get it out. And I don't want you to try and understand. YOU honestly can't. I DON'T CARE what you and your silly jackass friends think. & tonight, i'll go to sleep and belive tmr's another perfect day.
love & rockets.
Monday, April 17, 2006 School was alright today. It's only monday and already worked has piled up to gigantic proportions. Alright,my CME is from last week,opps. I have a whole vectors worksheet to complete by tmr,also slightly procrastinated. I have to study for my mock bio exam, SAVE ME. I have to complete my F&N all the way to planning. And honestly, I miss Mrs Tan. Mrs eugenia is like,"bo-chap" in a way. it's seems as if she doesnt really bother about how we're doing until we hand it in. Which is not how I'm used to working. I prefer when there is a guidline all through. So sue me. Chrimney. Anyway, english oral is tomorrow. And guess what, we only knew today! GREAT EH? I'm not complaining. But way to stress a girl out Miss yip. Sometimes, I love it when I'm just dreaming. It's seems surreal. As if I'm on the outside looking at my life. Let me give you a song that tell's it like it is. - Another Perfect Day - American Hi-Fi - I'm holdin' on waiting for your call it's simple but I can't explain this I'm sinking down I feel like I could die I'm fallin' off I don't know why I still believe it when you say it's another perfect day, another perfect day I still believe it when you say it's another perfect day, another perfect day So I might try to leave it all behind I know tomorrows not so bright now I'll say goodbye 'cause nothing good can last you wear and fade your no where fast but today I don't know how to keep it all inside but i guess I'll let it slide today I don't know why I thought that it was real but I guess it's no big deal I don't know how I don't know how I don't know how to let it slide...
love & rockets.
Friday, April 14, 2006 Love is a part of me. Love is the heart of me. - Christ,you're the last person I want to like. Just like how it ended up last year. Save me, please. I fear I'm falling forward into this downward spiral.
love & rockets.
Saturday, April 08, 2006 Yesterday a message from nat lee showed me how I've changed in the past 5 years. From sec 1 to now. It showed me how god always shows me the way and finds a way to bring me back to him. Nat reminded me of how I was once active in church and how happy it made me. Maybe that is what my life is missing. It also showed me how much I miss everyone in my life. And how no matter how life changes your path, they come back to you. No matter what. I guess you can say that yesterday was a slight turning in my life. And in all places, a bus. I really miss who I was from sec 2-3. The stress changes you,makes you more selfish and less selfless. Thinking of only yourself and not of others feelings. It's time for a change. And I know he's going to help me through this year. Now, I'm more pushed then ever to get my 10 points for the O's. - So yesterday was fun. Headed to paragon starbucks COFFEE ( you can't forget the coffee,right wynne?) Wynne did her coffee passport while I tried to attempt math. Khandhi came and he looks like a girl. I kept laughing. He says I make him uncomfortable. SORRY la dey. Well,then he kept waiting for sean to call,and he was late. So he bought a currypuff out of stree. He is physco. Then sean came,so we left paragon and headed to far east cos kandhi and him wanted to eat. I saw, LIL NIC, MEL AND NATALIE CHAN CHAN CHAN! Can't explain how happy I was. So it was fun company. Sean and kandhi kept giving me snipets of some spinal chord show. I SO WANNA WATCH IT!! Then I went home and they went to meet wynne again i think. Then got home tired. Slept and woke up DRAGGING myself out.
love & rockets.
Friday, April 07, 2006 Life's been prettyy alright with the occasional fuck ups. Math test today,I hope I do well so that Mrs Kuna will see I'm TRYING. Argh. Ok,one love everyone! Im back to ling my life in diplomatic overdrive.
love & rockets.
Thursday, March 16, 2006 -Math homework -English 5 journal entries,so screwed and the paper and letter writing. WOW! Tmr is a mug hard day. We're not even close to the mid years and Im already ready to throw my hands up. Well,holidays are alright. My room looks alright with the new paint job. But,the colour is so not me. If I didnt share the room with my sister, I would have choosen lilac or an orangey pastel pink. Custom paint job,yo! And I've turned into a couch patato. I wanna go play tennis! Anyone want to? - But if you left it up to me Everyday would be a holiday from real We'd waste our weeks beneath the sun We'd lie and tell our friends it's so much fun Out here But when it's all over I'll come back for another year When it's all over I'll come back for another When it's all over I'll come back for another year
love & rockets.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006 fuck this,im better than that.
love & rockets.
Sunday, February 26, 2006 Was so good seeing lil nic and mel again. Swear I missed them sooo damn much. - So I guess seeing you today didnt really help, right. Cos at once,everything just came back like a ton of bricks deciding to fall on top of me. I really wish I'd just turn into a cold person. Shut out every inch of emotion and realness. - Went to town with seshaa,pq and jer. met jill,sat at ob starbucks. slakced and i came home. - now i just feel like a silly young girl who belives all the fairytales she's heard everynight before sleeping.I feel like i'm seriously playing on the verge of physco.really,i do. - here's a song for all who wish to know, How to be dead ; snowpatrol. Please don't go crazy if I tell you the truth No you don't know what happened and you never will If you don't listen to me while I talk to the wall This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall Where you've had me for hours til i'm sure what I want But darlin' I want the same thing that I wanted before So sweetheart tell me what's up, I won't stop. No way. Please keep your hands down and stop raising your voice It's hardly what i'd be doing if you gave me a choice It's a simple suggestion, can you give me some time? So just say yes or no, why can't you shoulder the blame? Cos' both my shoulders are heavy from the weight of us both You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth You've not heard a single word I have said. Oh my God. Please take it easy, it can't all be my fault I haven't made half the mistakes that you've listed so far Baby let me explain something, it's all down to drugs At least I remember taking them and not a lot else It seems i've stepped over lines you've drawn again and again But if the ecstacy's in the wit is definately out Doctor Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride - I want to shrink,hide under the covers till i'm ready to face the world. The good world and bad.
love & rockets.
Friday, February 24, 2006 So,today was good :) One love.
love & rockets.
Sunday, February 05, 2006 - constant reminders of everything pretty much are pissing me off. well,the great pretender once again. like Dr Jackle wrestling Hyde. Oh well. - Chin up,tomorrows a brand new day.
love & rockets.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006 Empty faces,empty replies,empty promises and failed attempts to say sorry. - Malacca was alright. My grandmother was such an annoyance. SERIOUSLY. Couldn't do much with her around,cos she was always tired. Jonker street is the place to be. Trust me. The night markets are seriously the best. You get so much nice stuff for seriously half the price in singapore. Plus,you can bargin! Fun stuff. Spent the second night there,and got stuff for the friends. Hope they like it though. It was so good,we went back the next afternoon to finish everything. This time,it was all me! Got a bagand chunky stuff. Wanted to get this really gorgeous nepalese sundress and it was wickedly cheap BUT, i couldn't decide which to get! And cos I didnt have enough money for 2,I didnt get any. Rest assured,I will be there next year with twice as much money! HERE I COME!
love & rockets.
Sunday, January 22, 2006 Self awareness camp was fun. Got to say a lot of things I wouldn't say. So it was good. Had the whole water works. - Well,schools good. Tiring but good. hee hee haw. - I'm sorry I can't be as happy as I was. Faking a not so empty front is tiresome.
love & rockets.
Friday, December 23, 2005 WOoohoooooo! ok,not really. but I got my results. Did waayyy better than expected. I got 5 points. 1 for english 2 for account & math 3 for science 4 for humans & 5 for F&N well,its a given,I got ungraded for tamil! but I passed my oral! - /Dear santa, all i want for christmas is a iPod nano or a creative something or to see you under my tree. I love love,moschino! hahahah!/ - I'm a happy girl. WHEEEEEEE!
love & rockets.
Sunday, December 18, 2005 Getting tired, hating all I've known. Holding on, like it's all I have. Count me out, when it's clear that I, find it hard to say. And you, find it hard to care. This isn't hollywood. /results are tomorrow. i feel alright,calm. but yet nervous that i wont make it to sec 5. Dear Lord, all I need is 10 points./
love & rockets.
Sunday, December 11, 2005 But I honestly don't know how. And I miss my grandfather in every way.
love & rockets.
Thursday, December 01, 2005 Im absoloutly sad sad sad. I watched tru calling yesterday. And let me tell you,I cried barrels. Luke died in place of her brother! AASHDASJKGHFLAJDRHUWET! And you know how its to late to tell someone you love them?! YEA,thats exactly what happened. I swear. So thats how the season ends. Lukes funeral. So i want to know season 2 right? SO I go search fox.. and what do I see, ITS BEEN CANCELED! Because of some dumb ass show the company can compare to the oc. BLODDDY FUCK! :( Such a cliff hanger.
love & rockets.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005 - Decided to blog. But I just don't know what to say? haaah,yea. Theres a first time for everything.
love & rockets. Yesterday was F-U-N. Simple fun :) Met apes at sembawang then glenna and pat came! It was so funny. I swear,Apes and Pat took my mind of everything. We played blackjack with such silly forefits. heeheehee. Then melvin said he'll come! So he could return me my mp3. haha,he got lost. I swear its not my fault! The bus changed routes! hahahahaha. So went to get him,then we were laughing so much. They are all fucking funny la. glenna left about 15 mins after melvin came. Yup! haha.The we all took the same bus and went home. =)
love & rockets.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005 Sleep late,wake up early,run around and do stuff. tired.tired. Its intresting to an extent. All my grand aunts,cousins,uncles,aunts. And the oh so wroungfully,sinful pleasure; gossip. Though I still don't belive it. Like 'pinch me,wake me up'. Rawr. - all i want,is to be just friends. understand,don't hate me. i'm sorry,my love for you is gone.
love & rockets.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005 why is it when my friends are going through things, i know what to say,and whats going on deeper than what they tell. but when I feel like i'm going through the same thing,i dont know what to tell myself to make me feel like everythings alright. - goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, the one for me.
love & rockets. Rawr. emo fucking shit. this weather is so damn nostalgic. like,when i'm not occupied,i think,and when i drift to far,its to damn much. and when you think you're low,you dip to an absoloute low you never knew existed. poo. Right,well,all the sec 4's are going. It used to be so easy,when i didnt feel like facing the world to go see claire, and walk over to reena's class and talk.damn. though there are the sec 3's,its not the same. like half the sec4's are from the primary school. Right,thats not the reason im so nostalgic and feeling bummed. I dont know,maybe i just miss feeling you were around,no matter what. bye. - Im just not up to loving you any less today.
love & rockets.
Thursday, November 17, 2005 haha,yesterday was fun :) Town for awhile with; deb,des,sam,xf. After,left,cos I honestly wasn't in the mood for a love show. So walked around borders,got a list of books for a must-read. Met jerlyn,jill and chairmain and waited for apes. Talked and laughed for abit,and left! Went to hardrock,to pass glenn stuff. Then we went to TOYS R US!!! :))) -beams. After we went to liat towers. Haha,incase you're wondering,liat towers is where zara is! I didnt know that ok! Saw stacie-ann at starbucks! It started raining! poo :( was ccolllddd. -burrrr. hahahaha! Louis and his friend andy were there then i met fiona,a friend of apes. adny is louis's friend. haha,ok,yea then we went to yishun. met PAT. HAHAH,and we were having dinner,and explict talk. !!haha. yeah.
love & rockets.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005 Boring but fun! haha,yeaa. I've got new neighbours,they live 2 houses away! HOW FUN! but their house is nice. Like realllyyyy. oooooooooooo la la. byebey!
love & rockets.
Saturday, November 12, 2005 Welcome to my blog,all who wander. Anyway! Des is in Maalaaayysiaaaa. Karl is suicidal. Pat and Apes are sleeping,i think. AND here I am,Bored!! Byee!!
love & rockets.
Thursday, November 10, 2005 1. Exocism of Emily Rose 2. Harry Potter and the goblet of fire 3. Sky High 4. Just like heaven 5. Doom A mix of horror,comedy,romance and action :) - Vcd's I want to rent of movies I love. 1. Charlie and the chocolate factory 2. Ten things I hate about you I can't remember the rest. uhhhohhh. - Well,my maids leaving tonight.. I guess I cant stop her,can i?! hah. I'm dealing.
love & rockets. I'm bawling my eyes out. - Have I mentioned and stated enough how much I hate,HATE,dispise,LOATH goodbyes? I hate change. Fine,I'm scared. Yes,very. What if,someone leaves your life,not emotionally,but physically,won't it change your life? Just like the fucked up ecosystem. Damn it.
love & rockets.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005 Can you help me unravel my latest mistake? I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season. Yeah we walk through the doors so accusing their eyes Like they have any right at all to criticize Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason. - Right,so tomorrow my maids leaving. For good. Been controlling the past few days,from breaking down. I mean,she was practically my mum,when my mother wasn't around. 12 straight years. Yup,and I just let it pass. I know I've said I hate her. But I think that I actually am fond of her. She's always there,helping me. If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me Threatening the life it belongs to. And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud And I know that you'll use them however you want to. Right. - Just when you feel life is awesome,it comes and slaps you straight in the face. Absoloute bullocks.
love & rockets.
Sunday, November 06, 2005 I guess in a way,you can call me a wishful thinker. How can something a 16 year old say,make bush re-think his policies? How can it help world hunger and poverty? Is what I say going to be brushed aside and thought of as immaturity? I figure so. So I'll face each new day with the will to change a million things I see wrong,but do nothing about it. - Everyone always asks me why I love to take long busrides,and not mind. Its simple,I just like to think of what Ill be doing 10 years from now. Will I still be taking the bus to work,would I still be studying. Would my bestfriends still be my bestfriends? Would I have my own business or company? The quiet time helps really. Would I have helped poverty? made a difference in someones life? Or even be married and have kids,a stay home mum. Scares me to grow up. - Could I please be the mouthpiece to the world? So I can make a difference,I've got so much to tell our fucked up govertment, I swear its meaningful,not some selfish thought. Hush dhini,just sit down shut up and bite your tougue,before you know it,the govertment will be sueing you! Hot damn. It's so hard to have a say in Singapore. Wanna know why there are no political contests? Cos everyones afraid. Theres a fine for everything. Rioting,Illeagal d/l,Strikes,Smoking,Littering,damn soon they will fine vulgarities. I mean,they govertment always says they are supportive of small emerging businesses. Yea right,theres like none around us. Even if there were,they shut down 2 seconds after they open. Gosh,even for blogging they hunt you down. Honestly,I don't feel safe here. I mean,everything you say may have a consiquence. What ever happened to freedome of speech? Racist bloggers are brought to court. Alright,so they made comments,they have their reasons. It's not likt a riot is going to break out. I mean,if the govertment feels they have done such a good job in education, then Singaporeans should be educated enough to know,that rioting is not a way to solve things. I'm sure there are racist people who do not blog. It is un-fair that only the bloggers are caught and fined. For the record,incase I am thought to be a racist, Iam not,thank you very much. If there was a riot,I think it would be a could experience. None of the younger generation knows what it was like. And the older generations always go on about how we don't know how they suffered. Well maybe it is time. And maybe the youngsters should bring the oldies out and show them OUR way of life. Before they think that all youngsters do now is have sex,do drugs,get high and have shot gun marriges that land in divorce. - Being in Singapore's constricted enviroment run by laws for everything and money is the root of all our worries,it angers me. I do like Singapore. Heck,they are vigilant in ensuring our physical safety,who wouldn't? But you know what,they forget the poor and create laws. Yet they want more baby's. But,obviously,the poor cannot afford to have them. There is obviously no welfare state here. However,on that fact I am thankful,seeing as how Britain took advantage of it, thank you social studies! Neither can single mothers,because the baby bonus does not apply to them. Be fair,a baby is a baby. It's not like by allowing baby bonus for all,every single woman is going to go get herself pregnant.Like you all say,Women are now more career minded. Where is the time for the baby yea? Thats all. one love!
love & rockets.
Saturday, October 22, 2005 HAPPYY BIRTHDAY BABBBYY!!! =)
love & rockets.
Friday, October 21, 2005 PARTY PARTYY PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sEE YOUU!
love & rockets.
Thursday, October 20, 2005 AHAHAHAHAHHA OHHHCHIIWAHWAH !!! hello everyone,today was bad. then became good.ahah,i am hyper ffrom my bordome. yon know,take energy from bordome! SHIOK SHIOK SHIOK!!!
love & rockets.
Monday, October 17, 2005 Fall in love and hold nothing back I'll fall in love Fall in love and hold nothing back from you - Well,my plans to work aren't exactly working! haha,no big surprise though. But,soon I will go and get myself a job,perhaps in november. Data entry, not exactly fun,but oh well! How is everyone today? Today,I slept for a very long time. Like,longer than I usually would. And it was in the afternoon! So yea,I'll be awake for a long time tonight. - Death cab is good. Haha,ok,slow,yes I know. How? sue me la! Karls being real annoying by the way. God,the next time his com crashes,I will stay away from him. I have to send him songs. And he keeps on pestering. But it's ok! Haha,seeing as how he is my friend. And he tried his best to get me my tile from the taj mahal,yea right! Well,theres this boy. He is cute,very cute. I like his style,his music,his everything. But,get this,we only talked once! haha,wierd eh? I wouldn't call this a love connection or anything of that sort. Haha,he is just cute. Really. Who would've thought yea?! Look for a new template soon. Once my inspiration to design gets back. I noticed,when I used to design,I was in this emo-state of mind! HAHAHAH. Jokes la. Well,no way am I going back to emotive forces to design. I'm gonna design happy things. Stay tuned.
love & rockets.
Sunday, October 16, 2005 Something about john mayer just makes me want to cry. His songs are so moving. I always wonder what artist are thinking when they create their hits and how painters paint such sadness and capture it's essence so well it moves people. Well,I've decided that I am going to stop using profanities.Seriously. It's unbecoming of a lady and it can be quite a turn-off I've realised. Have you ever felt so disconnected,like you knew nothing of what was happening. Right,can I tell you I am now crying. For absoloutly nothing. I'm serious. Ok, maybe it's the song. But I thought I was so over that. Hah,weird. I just want to meet someone new,who steals my breath away and makes me smil, luagh and be like a kid.Who makes me feel like summers still around everyday.Makes me feel comfortable in my skin. And I can be honest with.I can tell my hopes and dreams to,and he won't laugh. Even if it is the most ridiculous thing in the world. He will make me forget my wishes and hopless dreams to marry a big movie star from hollywood.Someone I'm so wrapped into I feel like it's sunday everyday.(told you I was a hopeless romantic). Ok,if I thought john mayer was bad, lifehouse is worse. Ah crimeny,the songs so nice,and slow,but sad. Yet,I don't know what keeps me listening. Ah well,don't think anyone reads this now. So,goodnight. Ps: There's a boy,he has me mesmerized. He is cute and has a shyness about him that makes me melt.
love & rockets. Yesterday was the most fun I've had in ages. Really. The wedding was beautiful. And the dinner was just full of actions led by intoxication. To much infact.
love & rockets.
Thursday, October 13, 2005 Haha,the first time I actually had fun fun conversations online. PS, i dont know where to work.
love & rockets.
Sunday, October 09, 2005 SEEMS JUST OH TOO MUCH TO BEAR. Counting down baby,to that last day of sweet smelling exam papers. TMR. ah,all is over tmr!
love & rockets.
Saturday, September 10, 2005 Save comments for yourself. - Being Alone Or just like them Being Alive While feeling so... DEAD I want a single silver bullet Shot right through my heart To prove I can survive Without you Tonight, I'll fly away so high Tonight, I'll fly away You know the moon is full - Well,not like you make me feel so welcomed in this home. And it's not like your words make me feel any stronger or better. They just tear me down even more. Feeling so alone,yea. Like no ones around. Not like there ever were. But yea. Acting like someone so un affected,wow. Big accomplishment Dhini. Way to go. So many things running through my head. Way to many. And I can't bear it. The constant name calling. Yes,I know Im fat and what else would you and the rest of the fucking world, like to point out? No,Im not going to stoop down to her level or yours Kandhiban. You have the mouth the size of a million bee hives put together. And you don't even know the damage you do. Isn't that enlightening. Night. Bye.
love & rockets.
Thursday, September 08, 2005 Haha,well,I found an ashlee simpson song,thats actually not irritating. But kind to the ears :) Ha,yea. So how's everybody? I'm holding up,so I have no complaints! One love! - My love, look at what you've done to me For someone who has felt so strong It's amazing I'm completely gone I just wanna talk to you And my broken heart just has no use And I, I guess promises are better left unsaid, yeah Everytime you try to tell me You say the words that im the only But I'm one who's crawling on the ground, When you say love makes the world go 'round
love & rockets.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005 Darlin' you give love, a bad name.
love & rockets.
Saturday, September 03, 2005 :) Pq's house. Shiok. Well,mugg mug mug mug. Hit me baby one more time!
love & rockets.
Thursday, September 01, 2005 Mugging hard? N's start on monday and end on tuesday. Then from oct 3-10. Yup,say it,I'm screwed. - So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell, blue skies from pain. Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell? And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze? Cold comfort for change? And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? How I wish, how I wish you were here. We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year, Running over the same old ground. What have you found? The same old fears. Wish you were here.
love & rockets.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005 And watch tonight's dinner go round and round. Down the toilet's bowel. There goes dinner. Without you here ; Finch The storm is bad tonight So how could I Awake without you here Your picture is on the wall You haven’t called But I will wait for you To her own reflection, she said,'I will hold on' To her own reflection, she said, 'I will be strong' The storm is letting up But it won’t die 'If you weren’t wrong, was I?' Your picture still remains But I wonder Are you still the same? To her own reflection, she said, 'I will hold on' To her own reflection, she said,'I will be strong' Am I losing you? Am I losing you? I'm waiting I'm waiting till it's over It's over now I'm waiting I'm waiting till it's over It's over now I'm waiting I'm waiting till it's over It's over now I'm waiting I'm waiting till its over It's over now To her own reflection, she said 'I will hold on" To her own reflection, she said "I will be strong" To her own reflection, she said "I will hold on" To her own reflection, she said "I will be strong"
love & rockets. Hot fuss. Hi. Prelims are ending. Thats one battle won. I guess. My heads spinning,I feel sick. I feel like I've got a hangover. Hotdamn. I'm doing fine,don't fret. So anyways. Dear Des, if you think we are fine, we aren't. I'm just making a fuss about things. Im taking them as they come. - I feel so isolated and detached. And you don't even see it. Yup,so much for being able to read me. All of a sudden,I don't miss our late night talks. Just seeing how I've been replaced drives me nuts. Crazy,banana's. - Can I add,I feel real fucking sick. Like I'm gonna puke all over right now. - Also,Glenna,Im annoyed at what you did. You and your Dc shit. It's driving me mad. Sorry I can't say it to you straight. Wynne didnt even say anything. But oh mother fucking. OK,but it's already been done. So fuck it baby. - Nostalgia. Sudden songs are making me reminise. Fuck. Can't they just leave me alone? Fuck it. I'll be fine. What's another night all alone without you by my side,right? I'll get used to it,I promise.
love & rockets.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005 Prelims. Night. ONE LOVE!
love & rockets.
Saturday, August 13, 2005 I love it. Its yummy. Its got some pizza,thats got bacon,and egg. Its like a breakfast pizza. Yum :) I realised today and last night, that I've got a lovely bunch of people who can cheer me up. I like,and I love.
love & rockets.
Friday, August 12, 2005 Realising everythings changed. Change to great to bear. Crying my eyes out. Thankful for knowing how to cover it up. Maybe I'm afraid to tell you how I really feel. How I feel that you just took the last best thing in my life away. No,not jealousy. Facing terms its partly my fault. But fuck,why every damn time. Realisation to late I suppose. My sadness came at the expense of your happiness. And you know what,I'm used to being stepped on. Have people not care how it will affect me. But thats just me,and I'm eefing sick of it. - My house,fun stuff. Wynne's house,more than fun. School,got to see Nat. She makes my day,everytime. She makes me smile eventhough she is scaring the shit out of me, while we walk out of school She's just someone you just gotta love. Somehow I feel your gonna take that too. Somtimes I feel your just so caught up with making yourself happy, you miss out on the people you have to hurt to get there. Truth be told,thats why I'm afraid to open up anymore. Down right,plain striped truth. - Wanna know a secret? I cried this morning when it was raining cos, I remembered how I messaged Pet once, cos I was scared of the lightning and I couldn't sleep. And she made me seem like a silly little girl. And it made me happy. I don't even think she remembers. And the fack that I can't do that anymore, it's sad. And I miss it. Yup,thats just me. Goodnight.
love & rockets.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005 Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you. One love!
love & rockets.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005 Really. She has something about her that says you can trust her. I like. Well,yesterday was fun! Haha,shan't elaborate.
love & rockets.
Sunday, August 07, 2005 You try feeling detached from everything. You be the one to lose your reason to be alive. Try being the one who's lost close to everything. You try it. Tell me what you think it feels like. Maybe then I'll reconsider beliving you. Trust me,I will. But its alright,I live through every beautiful day without any of you. One love!
love & rockets.
Saturday, August 06, 2005 All this,just to numb myself. Wierd,no? Yeah,perculiar person I am. Well,today was farely fucked up. Every five seconds brings me closer to a breakdown. Isn't that fun? School,lets see,I have less reasons to go now. Fun stuff. Just wasting my life away. My holidays start today :) Plus points. Eeek! The lizards in my house are huge. GIGANTOMIC! Holy.
love & rockets.
Wednesday, August 03, 2005 Busy,busy living this life. This life, a lie more i like it. Lost; dying. Caught; drained. What? What does everyone want from me? I've lost close to everything. Do they think I handle change well? No. They must be wrong. Losing something so close,yet far away. Gone,for good. Your words; blur. Heartbeats, slow and thumping still. Try to forget how it feels,hard. I need you more than ever now.
love & rockets.
Monday, July 25, 2005 How? Slap her face. Haha,she's gonna bite Xf's finger off. OH NO!!! How? Call a callgirl! WOOHOOO! c3fr
love & rockets. So, to think we would not have gotten a relive teacher. But thats fine,but WHY! WHY IN THE WORD TO WE GET PATTY FATTY TAN. Thats sad. Just down right sad. But nonetheless,I'm still happy :)
love & rockets.
Sunday, July 24, 2005 Share with me my joy. How mundane today's events were. But nonetheless Something to go to school for tmr, No F&N. I feel bad,but who cares! Its like 3 free fucking periods. Joy. First time in a long time,I feel happy. - Easy come,and not so easy it goes. I guess it's something nobody knows. And where ever you are,I know you hate me. Cos I hate you to. It was the 4th of july, the skylights,your beautiful eyes. Never got the chance to say sorry.
love & rockets.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005 Unharmed,I'm loosing it and some body heat. So deep, That I didnt even scream. And fuck me.
love & rockets.
Monday, July 18, 2005 Thank you so much. Sweet love,dhini. - So tell me what you want? Cos I would give you anything. Tell me what you need, & i'll go get it. I'd give up all these dreams to have you in my arms. I'd give up everything,& I'd forget it. Loosing all my tears.
love & rockets.
Saturday, July 16, 2005 Sheena,Claire and Wynne. Circumstances. Circumstances fuck with you life. I feel so detached from everything. The preasure from the world to be strong is too much. Maybe I'm breaking under the preasure. Feelings of insecurity. Not knowing why. Sure its killing me. I'm not leting you see it. & the only song I know says it all,is this. behind these hazel eyes Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me I used to stand so tall, I used to be so strong Your arms around me tight, everything it felt so right Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep I'm barely hanging on Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes I told you everything, opened up and let you in You made me feel alright, for once in my life Now all that's left of me is what I pretend to be So together, but so broken up inside Cause I can't breathe, no I can’t sleep I’m barely hanging on Swallow me, then spit me out For hating you, I blame myself Seeing you, it kills me now No, I don't cry on the outside anymore Anymore Here I am, once again I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend Just thought you were the one Broken up, deep inside But you won't get to see the tears I cry Behind these hazel eyes
love & rockets.
Monday, July 11, 2005 in one of your lies to treat me so nice i can't believe my bones when they say so many things they tell me i am fine believe me i, i try ever so sweet... you make this seem the way things go its not my fault and i'll miss i'll miss you so good through all of those nights we lost our way back home ever so sweet you baked it in cakes for me were you left behind it hurts my teeth bringing the past with the postcard you sent for me every line it brings me right back down can't you see the wall you built for me can't you see the wall you built for me can't you see the wall you built for me cause we're not special we're not special we're not special well i'm not special i'm not special ever so sweet you baked it in cakes for me were you left behind it hurts my teeth bringing the past with the postcard you sent for me every line it brings me right back down - In all your favourite colours.
love & rockets.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005 I won't let you see the way I'm breaking. No. I can and I will. I will be strong,I won't let your actions affect me. It won't,I can't let it. I've taken your shit for to damn long. I'm sick of it.Everytime something goes wrong you make it seem like its my fault. Geeze. Loosing your friendship isn't so bad I guess.
love & rockets.
Sunday, July 03, 2005 I like today :) Being a kid is always good.
love & rockets.
Saturday, July 02, 2005 So yesterday was fun fun fun :) School was alright,everyone looked good. Rae can dance really well:))! Really. So after school Sheena,Pat and I waited with Donn. She was waiting for Ally and Nat. But they never actually turned up? So after about an hour plus we decided to leave cos they weren't in the labs. Donn went home. We went to town. Met the rest then ainsley andd junior came. We walked around. Went to cine to meet Nartarliee. Then we,well I walked to monster,alone. Haha,but I caught up with them at Og. So got to monster and we were on waiting list. So they went to eat. Blah blah! I HAD YUMI YOGURT :) Ooooooo yummy yummmy. So then we went up and many peoples where there. Emill and shuanna came! :) Heee! Then soon I saw Nat! My hommie! Haha,shit was damn happy. Then I played one game with her. Was good. Okay so soon all the sec 3's left. Only Celest,May,Dawn,Nat,Izza,Pet umm then I dont know who else. But my goodness,we went mad. Seriously. And Nat is one violent girl :(! Hah. Ok! So on the whole today was a very good day! =)
love & rockets.
Thursday, June 30, 2005 Fuck you and your 'i'll-be-there-for-you's' Take notice,take intrest. God damn it. Are you blind? Or is it just me? I guess it's just me.As always. I'll just sit back biting my tongue,hoping not to say anything that would make things worse. Far worse then they already are. Oh how it shattered. Emotions are stuck up my throat like shit on a constipated day. Maybe I don't have the fucking courage to say it to your face. And that makes me a hypocryte. But fuck, help me understand why everyone must,and will do their best to suck up and follow your every move. Even people who god forsake hate you. Everyone vys for your attention and friendship. Why? Popularity? Fuck that. What's that when your working? And out of school? Teachers aren't going to fucking put that down in your testimonial. You can't put that on your resume,so why then,suck up? You can't be all," I was cool in secondary school " What are you now/then? nothing. Just ordinary. ASS KISS? And when I don't agree I am ostracized for my critical opinions. But when she does is, she is noted and raised high on a pedistole. What makes her so different that she can make you feel so low? Why let her? I don't and for that I am treated different. Maybe sometimes her words hurt me. But it deffinetly doesn't change my confidence. Low self-esteem, BULL SHIT. Sleep with all the lights on. Your not so happy and your not so secure. So maybe thats why you need popularity. I'd really like to see you come undone. For once.And give the whole world a reason to hate you. At least the people you know. As for tmr's youth day,it's just another day. Another day for everyone to compete with their friends about who looks good and what would have looked better with your top or bottom. We're not 21. But the sooner we are,the sooner the fun. Fuck,I'm gonna work my ass of and shove it in your face. You don't always do better than me. - I may sound jealous,but trust me I'm not. These are my thoughts,my words. Take this shit and remember me in your grave,bitch.
love & rockets.
Saturday, June 25, 2005 You're not so happy, you're not secure And you're dying to look cute in your blue jeans But you're plastic just like everyone Just like everyone And that face you paint is pressed Impressing most of us as permanent And I'd like to see you undone College night will draw the crowds Dorms unload and you're heading out Here is your moment to shine Making up a history It's nothing from the life you lead But man, will they buy all your lines? Sleep with all the sheets off Baring your mattress, baring your soul And you're dying to look smooth with your tattoos But you're searching just like everyone, could be anyone And those friends that you have are the best Impressing most of us as permanent And I'd like to see you undone Youth's the most unfaithful mistress Still we forge ahead to miss her Rushing our moment to shine Making up a history It's nothing from the life you lead But man, will they buy all your lines? We're not twenty-one But the sooner we are The sooner the fun will begin So get out your fake eyelashes And fake I.D.'s, And real disasters ensue It's cool to take these chances It's cool to fake romances And grow up fast, and grow up fast And grow up fast, and grow up fast
love & rockets. So, I've decided to grow out of my old stuff. Start a new. & to my new blog, I update you when I can. & if you aren't happy, pick someone else to read about.
love & rockets.
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