Passion

2006-06-04T16:08:00.000+08:00

New temp, tell me what you think :)
Still got to fine tune it, but i think its me.
Simple.
Heh, inspired by the song, over my head by the fray.
one love.

2006-06-02T19:34:00.000+08:00

I gave up coffee and cigarettes
I hate to say it hasn't help me yet
I thought my problems would just dissapate
And all my pain would be in yesterday

I poured my booze all down the kitchen drain
And watched my bad habbits get flushed away
I thought that that would keep my head on straight
And all my pain would be in yesterday

But it's true, I'm still blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit...You

I thought that if i didn't go and play
The sadness would get bored and go away
I thought if I didn't go astray
That all my pain would be in yesterday

But it's true
I'm Still Blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit...You

I sold my guitar and my piano
I thought that it was these that kept me low
I thought that if only I could try and change
That all my pain would be in yesterday

But it's true
I'm Still Blue
But I finally know what to do
I must quit, I must quit...You

I must quit, I must quit...You

2006-06-01T21:30:00.000+08:00

If loving you is always this beautiful, the I'd pause today and replay it over and over in my head.

2006-05-29T18:19:00.000+08:00

I'm not in the mood for your stupid incessant annoying antics.
Go to the circus, I heard they were hiring.
Maybe they'll give you a job and save me the agony.
GROW UP. Seriously.
Stop it.
It was fun for awhile.
Now, it just gets tiring to deal with.
Please. If not for the sake of me, for the sake of how STUPID,INMATURE,RIDICULOUS you look when you do it.
-
flustered} thats how i feel of you as a friend.

2006-05-27T11:00:00.000+08:00

Never get excited overe anything.
Cos then your hopes just get crushed and the feeling of excitment leaves you.
Not a pleasent feeling but one you have to deal with.
Deal with it, cos you were the one who excited yourself to the point of this dissapointment.
I had a feeling this was coming.
-
So tonight, Ill enjoy dinner with whoever is coming.
Cos its no use being dissapointed over nothing.
I shall say that this is nothing.
Really, just nothing.
~~cos afterall,its only just me and not someone else~~

2006-05-23T15:03:00.000+08:00

I don't care.

2006-05-16T21:44:00.000+08:00

I want to just kill myself.
The pics from the zoo yesterday in my cam got deleated.
YUP!
And I really loved one of them. ALL to be exact.
I fucking feel like an idiot.
Im gonna cry now.

2006-05-15T20:39:00.000+08:00

The zoo, FUN.AWESOME.FANTASTIC.
I love.

2006-05-15T09:14:00.000+08:00

The week-end was fun.
Going to the zoo today.
Though, I'm not as hyped up as I was a week ago.
Ah well.
-
So now I'll take my heart back
Leave your pictures on the floor
Steal back my memories
I can't take it anymore
I've cried my eyes out
Oh and now i face the years
The way you loved me
Vanished all the tears

2006-05-11T20:03:00.000+08:00

Cos, I just want to bring you down so badly.

Gonna make DAMN SURE.

2006-05-10T16:44:00.000+08:00

Its selfish, yes.

But, I hate you for it.

2006-05-10T14:55:00.000+08:00

Your face has become a blur.
Your voice, lingers still, faded.
Your touch, feels faint, with no feeling.
~~you're just a faded memory now.~~

2006-05-06T10:15:00.000+08:00

One more week of exams, four days to be exact. Last paper is F&N.
JOY.
I may actually fail that, together with all my other subjects.
YUP.

2006-05-04T20:47:00.000+08:00

So mid-years are mid way through.
WOAH.
and already, i screwed up math,ss,geog papers.
WAY TO GO!
Bio, be my salvation.
-
Talked to gab online, he still never fails to make me smile.
REALLY.
haha, miss him and everyone else.
I WANT TO GO BACK TO CHURCH!
hmpf.
My mum wont let me, cos sundays are family days!
SUCK ON IT.

2006-05-01T20:53:00.000+08:00

If I was all I could be would you then love me.

2006-04-29T20:26:00.000+08:00

So, I'm a mess.
& I lied when I said I was fine.
No,everythings not ok.
I'm at the verge of crying over ever little thing.
Yeah,sure I'm too sensitive.
Guess what?
I don't really care.

2006-04-28T18:06:00.000+08:00

You fake it easy just to please me.
-
This is my song goodbye.

2006-04-27T20:37:00.000+08:00

Well, hello.
School was not as eventful as I hoped it would be.
F&N is good.
Link is the key word.
-
Maybe I over react.
Maybe, just maybe I wish my heart would break into a million pieces and never get back together.
Just to be broken all over again.
It hurts.
Yea, like a bitch.
-
youreallyfrustrateme.really.youkeepdoingthis.ihatetosayit,butyou'rejustlikeher.
inmorewaysthanone.iwishicouldkillmyselfforwantingyou.selfishbuttrue.iwantyousobad,
sometimesicry.cosithurts.itfuckinghurts.
-
I've had enough. I really have.
I'm ready to through my towel in and give up.
-
Mid years are here.
Time to go mug hard.
one love.

2006-04-25T16:06:00.000+08:00

Hello. Today was fun!
Had english exam in the morining then headed to entertainment centre to watch, TAKE THE LEAD!
I love that show, and jenna desan or whoever is so hot!
CHRIST!
Then headed for free scoop day at ben & jerrys!
WHEEEE!

2006-04-21T21:13:00.000+08:00

Broken promises
But you don't really mind
It's not the first time and you know it
Don't you know
Tell me why it is you only smile inside
But when you break me into nothing
Don't you know
It's not like I haven't tried over and over again
Stupid fights, wrong or right
Goodbye

I remember when you came with me that night
We said forever, that you would never let me go
But here I am again
With nothing left inside
Know I don't wanna
But I gotta let you go

You're the one mistake I really didn't mind
So beautiful, unmerciful
It took me down
Too little and too late
See now I know your kind
You fake it easy just to please me
Don't you know
It's not like we haven't tried over and over again
Sleepless nights, wrong or right
Goodbye

2006-04-20T19:45:00.000+08:00

So today school was alright.
Not exciting,not boring.
Just good enough for me to get by.
~~it seems like you only see me when you want to,really it does.~~
After F&N, sheena,glenna and I rushed down to yishun to watch the finals.
It was good.
I feel a sexy voice coming on.
Rachel's funny,really.
Mid years start proper in a week and if you ask me, I'd lie and say, yea I'm ready.
-
I feel so broken,it's not even funny.
P&W today,was alright.
But one of the songs hit me that made me almost cry.
But I held it in, in hope that I would keep a part of me alive.
-
I honestly don't get you sometimes.
REALLY.
You confuse me. & I hate it.
I hate how your hair falls on your face.
The stupid way you smile.
How you disturb me.
I HATE IT.
~~cos it's what's making me love you~~
SO STOP IT.
stop.
stop.
stop.
stop.
stop
stop.
stop.
stop.
-
Pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything
pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about
And that's what you get for falling again
you can never get him out of your head
and that's what you get for falling again
you can never get him out of your head

it's the way that he makes you feel
it's the way that he kisses you
it's the way that he makes you fall in love

she's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and
her killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men
and that's what you get for falling again
you can never get him out of your head
and that's what you get for falling again
you can never get him out of your head

it's the way that he makes you feel
it's the way that he kisses you
it's the way that he makes you fall in love

it's the way that he makes you feel
it's the way that he kisses you
it's the way that he makes you fall in love...love....

pretty girl...
pretty girl...
pretty girl...
pretty girl...

pretty girl is suffering while he confesses everything
pretty soon she'll figure out
you can never get him out of your head

It's the way that he makes you cry,
It's the way that he's in your mind,
It's the way that he makes you fall in love,
It's the way that he makes you feel,
It's the way that he kisses you,
It's the way that he makes you fall in love...love...

2006-04-19T23:19:00.000+08:00

Everybody, please just go.
Sometimes I just want ME and my self destruction.
Don't try to understand.
Don't try to make it right.
Everyone's entitled to a day they can just wilt and let a part of themselves die.
THEY ARE.
Surprise surprise, this has nothing to do with someone i like/love/adore/go gaga over.
For the first time in a long time, I'm finally seeing whats really killing me.
And I just want to wallow in it.
I want to cry and just get it out.
And I don't want you to try and understand.
YOU honestly can't.
I DON'T CARE what you and your silly jackass friends think.
& tonight, i'll go to sleep and belive tmr's another perfect day.

christ.

2006-04-17T18:00:00.000+08:00

This girl has a gun.
School was alright today.
It's only monday and already worked has piled up to gigantic proportions.
Alright,my CME is from last week,opps.
I have a whole vectors worksheet to complete by tmr,also slightly procrastinated.
I have to study for my mock bio exam, SAVE ME.
I have to complete my F&N all the way to planning.
And honestly, I miss Mrs Tan.
Mrs eugenia is like,"bo-chap" in a way.
it's seems as if she doesnt really bother about how we're doing until we hand it in.
Which is not how I'm used to working.
I prefer when there is a guidline all through.
So sue me.
Chrimney.
Anyway, english oral is tomorrow.
And guess what, we only knew today!
GREAT EH?
I'm not complaining.
But way to stress a girl out Miss yip.
Sometimes, I love it when I'm just dreaming.
It's seems surreal.
As if I'm on the outside looking at my life.
Let me give you a song that tell's it like it is.
-
Another Perfect Day - American Hi-Fi
-

I'm holdin' on
waiting for your call
it's simple but I can't explain this
I'm sinking down
I feel like I could die
I'm fallin' off I don't know why

I still believe it when you say it's another perfect day, another perfect day
I still believe it when you say it's another perfect day, another perfect day

So I might try to leave it all behind
I know tomorrows not so bright now
I'll say goodbye
'cause nothing good can last
you wear and fade your no where fast
but today
I don't know how
to keep it all inside
but i guess I'll let it slide

today I don't know why
I thought that it was real
but I guess it's no big deal

I don't know how
I don't know how
I don't know how to let it slide...

2006-04-14T22:44:00.000+08:00

Love is an energy, love is a mystery, love is meant to be true.
Love is a part of me.
Love is the heart of me.
-
Christ,you're the last person I want to like.
~~Idontwanttogothrougheverysingleheartacheagain.~~
Just like how it ended up last year.
Save me, please.
I fear I'm falling forward into this downward spiral.

2006-04-08T09:48:00.000+08:00

So, I'm left stuck in a daze.
Yesterday a message from nat lee showed me how I've changed in the past 5 years.
From sec 1 to now.
It showed me how god always shows me the way and finds a way to bring me back to him.
Nat reminded me of how I was once active in church and how happy it made me.
Maybe that is what my life is missing.
It also showed me how much I miss everyone in my life.
And how no matter how life changes your path, they come back to you.
No matter what.
I guess you can say that yesterday was a slight turning in my life.
And in all places, a bus.
I really miss who I was from sec 2-3.
The stress changes you,makes you more selfish and less selfless.
Thinking of only yourself and not of others feelings.
It's time for a change.
And I know he's going to help me through this year.
Now, I'm more pushed then ever to get my 10 points for the O's.
-
So yesterday was fun.
Headed to paragon starbucks COFFEE ( you can't forget the coffee,right wynne?)
Wynne did her coffee passport while I tried to attempt math.
Khandhi came and he looks like a girl.
I kept laughing.
He says I make him uncomfortable.
SORRY la dey.
Well,then he kept waiting for sean to call,and he was late.
So he bought a currypuff out of stree.
He is physco.
Then sean came,so we left paragon and headed to far east cos kandhi and him wanted to eat.
I saw, LIL NIC, MEL AND NATALIE CHAN CHAN CHAN!
Can't explain how happy I was.
So it was fun company.
Sean and kandhi kept giving me snipets of some spinal chord show.
I SO WANNA WATCH IT!!
Then I went home and they went to meet wynne again i think.
Then got home tired.
Slept and woke up DRAGGING myself out.

2006-04-07T08:12:00.000+08:00

Im in school now.
Life's been prettyy alright with the occasional fuck ups.
Math test today,I hope I do well so that Mrs Kuna will see I'm TRYING.
Argh.
Ok,one love everyone!
Im back to ling my life in diplomatic overdrive.

2006-03-16T18:20:00.000+08:00

Wow,holidays are close to ending and I am left with,
-Math homework
-English 5 journal entries,so screwed and the paper and letter writing.
WOW!
Tmr is a mug hard day.
We're not even close to the mid years and Im already ready to throw my hands up.
Well,holidays are alright.
My room looks alright with the new paint job.
But,the colour is so not me.
If I didnt share the room with my sister, I would have choosen lilac or an orangey pastel pink.
Custom paint job,yo!
And I've turned into a couch patato.
I wanna go play tennis!
Anyone want to?
-
But if you left it up to me
Everyday would be a holiday from real
We'd waste our weeks beneath the sun
We'd lie and tell our friends it's so much fun
Out here
But when it's all over
I'll come back for another year
When it's all over
I'll come back for another
When it's all over
I'll come back for another year

2006-03-08T22:33:00.000+08:00

i'm sick of your fucking shit.
fuck this,im better than that.

2006-02-26T22:05:00.000+08:00

Today,I went for nat's confirmation.
Was so good seeing lil nic and mel again.
Swear I missed them sooo damn much.
-
So I guess seeing you today didnt really help, right.
Cos at once,everything just came back like a ton of bricks deciding to fall on top of me.
I really wish I'd just turn into a cold person.
Shut out every inch of emotion and realness.
-
Went to town with seshaa,pq and jer.
met jill,sat at ob starbucks.
slakced and i came home.
-
now i just feel like a silly young girl who belives all the fairytales she's heard everynight before sleeping.I feel like i'm seriously playing on the verge of physco.really,i do.
-
here's a song for all who wish to know,
How to be dead ; snowpatrol.

Please don't go crazy if I tell you the truth
No you don't know what happened and you never will
If you don't listen to me while I talk to the wall
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall
Where you've had me for hours til i'm sure what I want
But darlin' I want the same thing that I wanted before
So sweetheart tell me what's up, I won't stop. No way.

Please keep your hands down and stop raising your voice
It's hardly what i'd be doing if you gave me a choice
It's a simple suggestion, can you give me some time?
So just say yes or no, why can't you shoulder the blame?
Cos' both my shoulders are heavy from the weight of us both
You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth
You've not heard a single word I have said. Oh my God.

Please take it easy, it can't all be my fault
I haven't made half the mistakes that you've listed so far
Baby let me explain something, it's all down to drugs
At least I remember taking them and not a lot else
It seems i've stepped over lines you've drawn again and again
But if the ecstacy's in the wit is definately out
Doctor Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride

-
I want to shrink,hide under the covers till i'm ready to face the world.
The good world and bad.

2006-02-24T23:24:00.000+08:00

Hello!
So,today was good :)
One love.

2006-02-05T21:51:00.000+08:00

Somone hold a gun to my head and blow my brains out.
-
constant reminders of everything pretty much are pissing me off.
well,the great pretender once again.
like Dr Jackle wrestling Hyde.
Oh well.
-

Chin up,tomorrows a brand new day.

2006-01-31T14:39:00.000+08:00

So here we are again.
Empty faces,empty replies,empty promises and failed attempts to say sorry.
-
Malacca was alright.
My grandmother was such an annoyance.
SERIOUSLY.
Couldn't do much with her around,cos she was always tired.
Jonker street is the place to be.
Trust me.
The night markets are seriously the best.
You get so much nice stuff for seriously half the price in singapore.
Plus,you can bargin!
Fun stuff.
Spent the second night there,and got stuff for the friends.
Hope they like it though.
It was so good,we went back the next afternoon to finish everything.
This time,it was all me!
Got a bagand chunky stuff.
Wanted to get this really gorgeous nepalese sundress and it was wickedly cheap BUT,
i couldn't decide which to get!
And cos I didnt have enough money for 2,I didnt get any.
Rest assured,I will be there next year with twice as much money!
HERE I COME!

2006-01-22T11:33:00.000+08:00

Hi.
Self awareness camp was fun.
Got to say a lot of things I wouldn't say.
So it was good.
Had the whole water works.
-
Well,schools good.
Tiring but good.
hee hee haw.
-
I'm sorry I can't be as happy as I was.
Faking a not so empty front is tiresome.

2005-12-23T09:32:00.000+08:00

Hello,its proven, Iam Miss Smarty Pants.
WOoohoooooo!
ok,not really.
but I got my results.
Did waayyy better than expected.
I got 5 points.
1 for english
2 for account & math
3 for science
4 for humans
& 5 for F&N
well,its a given,I got ungraded for tamil!
but I passed my oral!
-
/Dear santa, all i want for christmas is a iPod nano or a creative something or to see you under my tree. I love love,moschino! hahahah!/
-
I'm a happy girl.
WHEEEEEEE!

2005-12-18T11:02:00.000+08:00

Tell myself, on the ride home.
Getting tired, hating all I've known.
Holding on, like it's all I have.
Count me out, when it's clear that I, find it hard to say.
And you, find it hard to care.

This isn't hollywood.

/results are tomorrow.
i feel alright,calm.
but yet nervous that i wont make it to sec 5.
Dear Lord, all I need is 10 points./

2005-12-11T14:35:00.000+08:00

So maybe im not handling things the best way possibly.
But I honestly don't know how.
And I miss my grandfather in every way.

2005-12-01T13:42:00.000+08:00

Hello.
Im absoloutly sad sad sad.
I watched tru calling yesterday.
And let me tell you,I cried barrels.
Luke died in place of her brother!
AASHDASJKGHFLAJDRHUWET!
And you know how its to late to tell someone you love them?!
YEA,thats exactly what happened.
I swear.
So thats how the season ends.
Lukes funeral.
So i want to know season 2 right?
SO I go search fox..
and what do I see,
ITS BEEN CANCELED!
Because of some dumb ass show the company can compare to the oc.
BLODDDY FUCK!
:(
Such a cliff hanger.

2005-11-30T21:25:00.000+08:00

Lovesick suicide.
-
Decided to blog.
But I just don't know what to say?
haaah,yea.
Theres a first time for everything.

2005-11-30T16:48:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was F-U-N.
Simple fun :)
Met apes at sembawang then glenna and pat came!
It was so funny.
I swear,Apes and Pat took my mind of everything.
We played blackjack with such silly forefits.
heeheehee.
Then melvin said he'll come!
So he could return me my mp3.
haha,he got lost.
I swear its not my fault!
The bus changed routes!
hahahahaha.
So went to get him,then we were laughing so much.
They are all fucking funny la.
glenna left about 15 mins after melvin came.
Yup!
haha.The we all took the same bus and went home.
=)

2005-11-29T10:05:00.000+08:00

Past few days have been draining.
Sleep late,wake up early,run around and do stuff.
tired.tired.
Its intresting to an extent.
All my grand aunts,cousins,uncles,aunts.
And the oh so wroungfully,sinful pleasure; gossip.
Though I still don't belive it.
Like 'pinch me,wake me up'.
Rawr.
-
all i want,is to be just friends.
understand,don't hate me.
i'm sorry,my love for you is gone.

2005-11-22T21:52:00.000+08:00

Amazing,amazing amazing.
why is it when my friends are going through things,
i know what to say,and whats going on deeper than what they tell.
but when I feel like i'm going through the same thing,i dont know what to tell myself to make me feel like everythings alright.
-
goodbye my lover,
goodbye my friend.
you have been the one,
the one for me.

2005-11-22T21:45:00.000+08:00

Rawr.
emo fucking shit.
this weather is so damn nostalgic.
like,when i'm not occupied,i think,and when i drift to far,its to damn much.
and when you think you're low,you dip to an absoloute low you never knew existed.
poo.
Right,well,all the sec 4's are going.
It used to be so easy,when i didnt feel like facing the world to go see claire,
and walk over to reena's class and talk.damn.
though there are the sec 3's,its not the same.
like half the sec4's are from the primary school.
Right,thats not the reason im so nostalgic and feeling bummed.
I dont know,maybe i just miss feeling you were around,no matter what.
bye.
-
Im just not up to loving you any less today.

2005-11-17T17:23:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!!
haha,yesterday was fun :)
Town for awhile with; deb,des,sam,xf.
After,left,cos I honestly wasn't in the mood for a love show.
So walked around borders,got a list of books for a must-read.
Met jerlyn,jill and chairmain and waited for apes.
Talked and laughed for abit,and left!
Went to hardrock,to pass glenn stuff.
Then we went to TOYS R US!!!
:))) -beams.
After we went to liat towers.
Haha,incase you're wondering,liat towers is where zara is!
I didnt know that ok!
Saw stacie-ann at starbucks!
It started raining!
poo :( was ccolllddd.
-burrrr.
hahahaha!
Louis and his friend andy were there then i met fiona,a friend of apes.
adny is louis's friend.
haha,ok,yea then we went to yishun.
met PAT.
HAHAH,and we were having dinner,and explict talk.
!!haha.
yeah.

2005-11-15T17:31:00.000+08:00

Past few days have been fun!
Boring but fun! haha,yeaa.
I've got new neighbours,they live 2 houses away!
HOW FUN!
but their house is nice.
Like realllyyyy.
oooooooooooo la la.
byebey!

2005-11-12T13:49:00.000+08:00

Hello!!!
Welcome to my blog,all who wander.
Anyway!
Des is in Maalaaayysiaaaa.
Karl is suicidal.
Pat and Apes are sleeping,i think.
AND here I am,Bored!!
Byee!!

2005-11-10T12:54:00.000+08:00

Movies I really have to watch durring the holidays.
1. Exocism of Emily Rose
2. Harry Potter and the goblet of fire
3. Sky High
4. Just like heaven
5. Doom
A mix of horror,comedy,romance and action :)
-
Vcd's I want to rent of movies I love.
1. Charlie and the chocolate factory
2. Ten things I hate about you
I can't remember the rest. uhhhohhh.
-
Well,my maids leaving tonight..
I guess I cant stop her,can i?!
hah.
I'm dealing.

2005-11-10T01:46:00.000+08:00

I'm bawling my eyes out.
-
Have I mentioned and stated enough how much I hate,HATE,dispise,LOATH
goodbyes?
I hate change.
Fine,I'm scared.
Yes,very.
What if,someone leaves your life,not emotionally,but physically,won't it change your life?
Just like the fucked up ecosystem.
Damn it.

2005-11-09T23:57:00.000+08:00

2 AM and she calls me cause I'm still awake
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season.
Yeah we walk through the doors so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize
Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason.
-
Right,so tomorrow my maids leaving.
For good.
Been controlling the past few days,from breaking down.
I mean,she was practically my mum,when my mother wasn't around.
12 straight years. Yup,and I just let it pass.
I know I've said I hate her.
But I think that I actually am fond of her.
She's always there,helping me.
If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me
Threatening the life it belongs to.
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to.
Right.
-
Just when you feel life is awesome,it comes and slaps you straight in the face.
Absoloute bullocks.

2005-11-06T20:38:00.000+08:00

Sometimes,it compells me to want to write something that could change the way we see life.
I guess in a way,you can call me a wishful thinker.
How can something a 16 year old say,make bush re-think his policies?
How can it help world hunger and poverty?
Is what I say going to be brushed aside and thought of as immaturity?
I figure so.
So I'll face each new day with the will to change a million things I see wrong,but do nothing about it.
-
Everyone always asks me why I love to take long busrides,and not mind.
Its simple,I just like to think of what Ill be doing 10 years from now.
Will I still be taking the bus to work,would I still be studying.
Would my bestfriends still be my bestfriends?
Would I have my own business or company?
The quiet time helps really.
Would I have helped poverty? made a difference in someones life?
Or even be married and have kids,a stay home mum.
Scares me to grow up.
-
Could I please be the mouthpiece to the world?
So I can make a difference,I've got so much to tell our fucked up govertment,
I swear its meaningful,not some selfish thought.
Hush dhini,just sit down shut up and bite your tougue,before you know it,the govertment will be sueing you!
Hot damn.
It's so hard to have a say in Singapore.
Wanna know why there are no political contests?
Cos everyones afraid.
Theres a fine for everything.
Rioting,Illeagal d/l,Strikes,Smoking,Littering,damn soon they will fine vulgarities.
I mean,they govertment always says they are supportive of small emerging businesses.
Yea right,theres like none around us.
Even if there were,they shut down 2 seconds after they open.
Gosh,even for blogging they hunt you down.
Honestly,I don't feel safe here.
I mean,everything you say may have a consiquence.
What ever happened to freedome of speech?
Racist bloggers are brought to court.
Alright,so they made comments,they have their reasons.
It's not likt a riot is going to break out.
I mean,if the govertment feels they have done such a good job in education,
then Singaporeans should be educated enough to know,that rioting is not a way to solve things.
I'm sure there are racist people who do not blog.
It is un-fair that only the bloggers are caught and fined.
For the record,incase I am thought to be a racist,
Iam not,thank you very much.
If there was a riot,I think it would be a could experience.
None of the younger generation knows what it was like.
And the older generations always go on about how we don't know how they suffered.
Well maybe it is time.
And maybe the youngsters should bring the oldies out and show them OUR way of life.
Before they think that all youngsters do now is have sex,do drugs,get high and have shot gun marriges that land in divorce.
-
Being in Singapore's constricted enviroment run by laws for everything and money is the root of all our worries,it angers me.
I do like Singapore.
Heck,they are vigilant in ensuring our physical safety,who wouldn't?
But you know what,they forget the poor and create laws.
Yet they want more baby's.
But,obviously,the poor cannot afford to have them.
There is obviously no welfare state here.
However,on that fact I am thankful,seeing as how Britain took advantage of it,
thank you social studies!
Neither can single mothers,because the baby bonus does not apply to them.
Be fair,a baby is a baby.
It's not like by allowing baby bonus for all,every single woman is going to go get herself pregnant.Like you all say,Women are now more career minded.
Where is the time for the baby yea?
Thats all.
one love!

2005-10-22T19:59:00.000+08:00

Hello,pat's house yesterday,was fun!
HAPPYY BIRTHDAY BABBBYY!!! =)

2005-10-21T14:59:00.000+08:00

HelloO!! I'am at pat's house now.
PARTY PARTYY PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sEE YOUU!

2005-10-20T23:42:00.000+08:00

HELLO!!
AHAHAHAHAHHA
OHHHCHIIWAHWAH
!!! hello everyone,today was bad.
then became good.ahah,i am hyper ffrom my bordome.
yon know,take energy from bordome!
SHIOK SHIOK SHIOK!!!

2005-10-17T19:04:00.000+08:00

If you fall in love
Fall in love and hold nothing back
I'll fall in love
Fall in love and hold nothing back from you
-
Well,my plans to work aren't exactly working!
haha,no big surprise though.
But,soon I will go and get myself a job,perhaps in november.
Data entry, not exactly fun,but oh well!
How is everyone today?
Today,I slept for a very long time.
Like,longer than I usually would.
And it was in the afternoon!
So yea,I'll be awake for a long time tonight.
-
Death cab is good.
Haha,ok,slow,yes I know.
How? sue me la!
Karls being real annoying by the way.
God,the next time his com crashes,I will stay away from him.
I have to send him songs.
And he keeps on pestering.
But it's ok!
Haha,seeing as how he is my friend.
And he tried his best to get me my tile from the taj mahal,yea right!
Well,theres this boy.
He is cute,very cute.
I like his style,his music,his everything.
But,get this,we only talked once!
haha,wierd eh?
I wouldn't call this a love connection or anything of that sort.
Haha,he is just cute.
Really. Who would've thought yea?!
Look for a new template soon.
Once my inspiration to design gets back.
I noticed,when I used to design,I was in this emo-state of mind!
HAHAHAH. Jokes la.
Well,no way am I going back to emotive forces to design.
I'm gonna design happy things.
Stay tuned.

2005-10-16T21:27:00.000+08:00

Hello.
Something about john mayer just makes me want to cry.
His songs are so moving. I always wonder what artist are thinking when they create their hits and how painters paint such sadness and capture it's essence so well it moves people.
Well,I've decided that I am going to stop using profanities.Seriously.
It's unbecoming of a lady and it can be quite a turn-off I've realised.
Have you ever felt so disconnected,like you knew nothing of what was happening.
Right,can I tell you I am now crying.
For absoloutly nothing. I'm serious.
Ok, maybe it's the song. But I thought I was so over that.
Hah,weird.
I just want to meet someone new,who steals my breath away and makes me smil, luagh and be like a kid.Who makes me feel like summers still around everyday.Makes me feel comfortable in my skin.
And I can be honest with.I can tell my hopes and dreams to,and he won't laugh. Even if it is the most ridiculous thing in the world. He will make me forget my wishes and hopless dreams to marry a big movie star from hollywood.Someone I'm so wrapped into I feel like it's sunday everyday.(told you I was a hopeless romantic).

Ok,if I thought john mayer was bad, lifehouse is worse.
Ah crimeny,the songs so nice,and slow,but sad.
Yet,I don't know what keeps me listening.
Ah well,don't think anyone reads this now.
So,goodnight.
Ps: There's a boy,he has me mesmerized. He is cute and has a shyness about him that makes me melt.

2005-10-16T14:01:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the most fun I've had in ages.
Really. The wedding was beautiful.
And the dinner was just full of actions led by intoxication.
To much infact.

2005-10-13T16:50:00.000+08:00

Gosh,today was fun.
Haha,the first time I actually had fun fun conversations online.
PS, i dont know where to work.

2005-10-09T18:08:00.000+08:00

anticipation till freedom reigns.
SEEMS JUST OH TOO MUCH TO BEAR.
Counting down baby,to that last day of sweet smelling exam papers.
TMR.
ah,all is over tmr!

2005-09-10T22:20:00.000+08:00

Please get ready for an emo entry.
Save comments for yourself.
-
Being Alone
Or just like them
Being Alive
While feeling so...
DEAD
I want a single silver bullet
Shot right through my heart
To prove I can survive
Without you
Tonight, I'll fly away so high
Tonight, I'll fly away
You know the moon is full
-
Well,not like you make me feel so welcomed in this home.
And it's not like your words make me feel any stronger or better.
They just tear me down even more.
Feeling so alone,yea.
Like no ones around.
Not like there ever were.
But yea. Acting like someone so un affected,wow.
Big accomplishment Dhini.
Way to go.
So many things running through my head.
Way to many.
And I can't bear it.
The constant name calling.
Yes,I know Im fat and what else would you and the rest of the fucking world,
like to point out?
No,Im not going to stoop down to her level or yours Kandhiban.
You have the mouth the size of a million bee hives put together.
And you don't even know the damage you do.
Isn't that enlightening.
Night.
~~I needa smoke.~~
Bye.

2005-09-08T12:22:00.000+08:00

Hello,errbody.
Haha,well,I found an ashlee simpson song,thats actually not irritating.
But kind to the ears :)
Ha,yea.
So how's everybody?
I'm holding up,so I have no complaints!
One love!
-
My love, look at what you've done to me
For someone who has felt so strong
It's amazing I'm completely gone

I just wanna talk to you
And my broken heart just has no use
And I, I guess promises are better left unsaid, yeah
Everytime you try to tell me
You say the words that im the only
But I'm one who's crawling on the ground,
When you say love makes the world go 'round

2005-09-07T11:45:00.000+08:00

Shot through the heart and you're to blame
Darlin' you give love, a bad name.

2005-09-03T22:51:00.000+08:00

Hello,yesterday was highly fun!
:) Pq's house.
Shiok.
Well,mugg mug mug mug.
Hit me baby one more time!

2005-09-01T18:48:00.000+08:00

Hello.
Mugging hard? N's start on monday and end on tuesday.
Then from oct 3-10.
Yup,say it,I'm screwed.
-
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?

And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

2005-08-23T21:14:00.000+08:00

Bow forward,face down.
And watch tonight's dinner go round and round.
Down the toilet's bowel.
There goes dinner.

Without you here ; Finch
The storm is bad tonight
So how could I
Awake without you here
Your picture is on the wall
You haven’t called
But I will wait for you

To her own reflection, she said,'I will hold on'
To her own reflection, she said, 'I will be strong'
The storm is letting up
But it won’t die
'If you weren’t wrong, was I?'
Your picture still remains
But I wonder
Are you still the same?

To her own reflection, she said, 'I will hold on'
To her own reflection, she said,'I will be strong'

Am I losing you?
Am I losing you?

I'm waiting
I'm waiting till it's over
It's over now
I'm waiting
I'm waiting till it's over
It's over now
I'm waiting
I'm waiting till it's over
It's over now
I'm waiting
I'm waiting till its over
It's over now

To her own reflection, she said 'I will hold on"
To her own reflection, she said "I will be strong"
To her own reflection, she said "I will hold on"
To her own reflection, she said "I will be strong"

2005-08-23T20:44:00.000+08:00

Hot fuss.
Hi.
Prelims are ending.
Thats one battle won.
I guess.
My heads spinning,I feel sick.
I feel like I've got a hangover.
Hotdamn.
I'm doing fine,don't fret.
So anyways.
Dear Des, if you think we are fine,
we aren't. I'm just making a fuss about things.
Im taking them as they come.
-
I feel so isolated and detached.
And you don't even see it.
Yup,so much for being able to read me.
All of a sudden,I don't miss our late night talks.
Just seeing how I've been replaced drives me nuts.
Crazy,banana's.
-
Can I add,I feel real fucking sick.
Like I'm gonna puke all over right now.
-
Also,Glenna,Im annoyed at what you did.
You and your Dc shit.
It's driving me mad.
Sorry I can't say it to you straight.
Wynne didnt even say anything.
But oh mother fucking.
OK,but it's already been done.
So fuck it baby.
-
Nostalgia.
Sudden songs are making me reminise.
Fuck.
Can't they just leave me alone?
Fuck it.
I'll be fine.
What's another night all alone without you by my side,right?
I'll get used to it,I promise.

2005-08-17T22:58:00.000+08:00

Hey mother fuckers.
Prelims.
Night.
ONE LOVE!

2005-08-13T21:01:00.000+08:00

Saturday night, eating pizza from the nearby deli,lovely.
I love it.
Its yummy.
Its got some pizza,thats got bacon,and egg.
Its like a breakfast pizza.
Yum :)
I realised today and last night,
that I've got a lovely bunch of people who can cheer me up.
I like,and I love.

2005-08-12T21:58:00.000+08:00

Waking up.
Realising everythings changed.
Change to great to bear.
Crying my eyes out.
Thankful for knowing how to cover it up.
Maybe I'm afraid to tell you how I really feel.
How I feel that you just took the last best thing in my life away.
No,not jealousy. Facing terms its partly my fault.
But fuck,why every damn time.
Realisation to late I suppose.
My sadness came at the expense of your happiness.
And you know what,I'm used to being stepped on.
Have people not care how it will affect me.
But thats just me,and I'm eefing sick of it.
-
My house,fun stuff.
Wynne's house,more than fun.
School,got to see Nat.
She makes my day,everytime.
She makes me smile eventhough she is scaring the shit out of me,
while we walk out of school
She's just someone you just gotta love.
Somehow I feel your gonna take that too.
~~arentyoualreadytrying~~
Somtimes I feel your just so caught up with making yourself happy,
you miss out on the people you have to hurt to get there.
Truth be told,thats why I'm afraid to open up anymore.
Down right,plain striped truth.
-
Wanna know a secret?
I cried this morning when it was raining cos,
I remembered how I messaged Pet once,
cos I was scared of the lightning and I couldn't sleep.
And she made me seem like a silly little girl.
And it made me happy.
I don't even think she remembers.
And the fack that I can't do that anymore,
it's sad. And I miss it.
Yup,thats just me.
Goodnight.

2005-08-10T21:11:00.000+08:00

How about enough?
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you.
One love!

2005-08-09T08:48:00.000+08:00

Something about Gen,she makes me listen.
Really. She has something about her that says you can trust her.
I like. Well,yesterday was fun!
Haha,shan't elaborate.

2005-08-07T19:13:00.000+08:00

Des,you try feeling like you've been replaced.
You try feeling detached from everything.
You be the one to lose your reason to be alive.
Try being the one who's lost close to everything.
You try it.
Tell me what you think it feels like.
Maybe then I'll reconsider beliving you.
Trust me,I will.
~~sometimesifeelyoucameinbetweenmyfriendshipwithpetjustlikehowilostelisabtoyou~~
But its alright,I live through every beautiful day without any of you.
One love!

2005-08-06T00:02:00.000+08:00

Vaguely,but surely tempted to fling myself off the 10th floor of a building.
All this,just to numb myself. Wierd,no? Yeah,perculiar person I am.
Well,today was farely fucked up. Every five seconds brings me closer to a breakdown.
Isn't that fun? School,lets see,I have less reasons to go now.
Fun stuff.
Just wasting my life away.
My holidays start today :)
Plus points.
Eeek! The lizards in my house are huge.
GIGANTOMIC!
Holy.

2005-08-03T21:39:00.000+08:00

So,here I am again.
Busy,busy living this life.
This life, a lie more i like it.
Lost; dying.
Caught; drained.
What?
What does everyone want from me?
I've lost close to everything.
Do they think I handle change well?
No.
They must be wrong.
Losing something so close,yet far away.
Gone,for good.
Your words; blur.
Heartbeats, slow and thumping still.
Try to forget how it feels,hard.
I need you more than ever now.

2005-07-25T13:47:00.000+08:00

Des is next to,making me laugh like a fucking jackasss.
How?
Slap her face.
Haha,she's gonna bite Xf's finger off.
OH NO!!!
How?
Call a callgirl!
WOOHOOO! c3fr

2005-07-25T13:23:00.000+08:00

So, to think we would not have gotten a relive teacher.
But thats fine,but WHY! WHY IN THE WORD TO WE GET PATTY FATTY TAN.
Thats sad. Just down right sad.
But nonetheless,I'm still happy :)

2005-07-24T20:41:00.000+08:00

WOOOHOOO!
Share with me my joy.
How mundane today's events were.
But nonetheless
Something to go to school for tmr,
No F&N.
I feel bad,but who cares!
Its like 3 free fucking periods.
Joy.
First time in a long time,I feel happy.
-
Easy come,and not so easy it goes.
I guess it's something nobody knows.
And where ever you are,I know you hate me.
Cos I hate you to.
It was the 4th of july,
the skylights,your beautiful eyes.
Never got the chance to say sorry.

2005-07-20T12:38:00.000+08:00

I guess,I remember every glance you shot me.
Unharmed,I'm loosing it and some body heat.
So deep,
That I didnt even scream.
And fuck me.

2005-07-18T21:08:00.000+08:00

I hear-by proclaim thy self,BANKRUPT.
Thank you so much.
Sweet love,dhini.
-
So tell me what you want?
Cos I would give you anything.
Tell me what you need,
& i'll go get it.
I'd give up all these dreams to have you in my arms.
I'd give up everything,& I'd forget it.

Loosing all my tears.

2005-07-16T11:33:00.000+08:00

I guess right now,the only people I've come to trust are
Sheena,Claire and Wynne.
Circumstances.
Circumstances fuck with you life.
I feel so detached from everything.
The preasure from the world to be strong is too much.
Maybe I'm breaking under the preasure.
Feelings of insecurity.
Not knowing why.
Sure its killing me.
I'm not leting you see it.
& the only song I know says it all,is this.

behind these hazel eyes
Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me
I used to stand so tall, I used to be so strong
Your arms around me tight, everything it felt so right
Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong

Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep
I'm barely hanging on

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

I told you everything, opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright, for once in my life
Now all that's left of me is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside

Cause I can't breathe, no I can’t sleep
I’m barely hanging on

Swallow me, then spit me out
For hating you, I blame myself
Seeing you, it kills me now
No, I don't cry on the outside anymore
Anymore

Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes

2005-07-11T20:19:00.000+08:00

i just found a friend
in one of your lies
to treat me so nice
i can't believe my bones
when they say so many things
they tell me i am fine
believe me i, i try

ever so sweet...
you make this seem
the way things go
its not my fault
and i'll miss
i'll miss you so good
through all of those nights
we lost our way back home

ever so sweet
you baked it in cakes for me
were you left behind
it hurts my teeth
bringing the past
with the postcard you sent for me
every line
it brings me right back down

can't you see the wall you built for me
can't you see the wall you built for me
can't you see the wall you built for me

cause we're not special
we're not special
we're not special

well i'm not special
i'm not special

ever so sweet
you baked it in cakes for me
were you left behind
it hurts my teeth
bringing the past
with the postcard you sent for me
every line
it brings me right back down
-
In all your favourite colours.

2005-07-06T17:18:00.000+08:00

Moments forever faded.
I won't let you see the way I'm breaking.
No.
I can and I will.
I will be strong,I won't let your actions affect me.
It won't,I can't let it.
I've taken your shit for to damn long.
I'm sick of it.Everytime something goes wrong you make it seem like its my fault.
Geeze.
Loosing your friendship isn't so bad I guess.

2005-07-03T22:10:00.000+08:00

The zoo,ben&jerry's,dinner.
I like today :)
Being a kid is always good.

2005-07-02T08:25:00.000+08:00

This is your moment to shine.
So yesterday was fun fun fun :)
School was alright,everyone looked good.
Rae can dance really well:))!
Really.
So after school Sheena,Pat and I waited with Donn.
She was waiting for Ally and Nat.
But they never actually turned up?
So after about an hour plus we decided to leave cos they weren't in the labs.
Donn went home.
We went to town.
Met the rest then ainsley andd junior came.
We walked around.
Went to cine to meet Nartarliee.
Then we,well I walked to monster,alone.
Haha,but I caught up with them at Og.
So got to monster and we were on waiting list.
So they went to eat.
Blah blah!
I HAD YUMI YOGURT :)
Ooooooo yummy yummmy.
So then we went up and many peoples where there.
Emill and shuanna came! :)
Heee!
Then soon I saw Nat! My hommie!
Haha,shit was damn happy.
Then I played one game with her.
Was good.
Okay so soon all the sec 3's left.
Only Celest,May,Dawn,Nat,Izza,Pet umm then I dont know who else.
But my goodness,we went mad.
Seriously.
And Nat is one violent girl :(!
Hah.
Ok!
So on the whole today was a very good day!
=)

2005-06-30T16:14:00.000+08:00

Fuck you and your empty words.
Fuck you and your 'i'll-be-there-for-you's'
Take notice,take intrest.
God damn it.
Are you blind? Or is it just me?
I guess it's just me.As always.
I'll just sit back biting my tongue,hoping not to say anything that would make things worse.
Far worse then they already are.
Oh how it shattered.
Emotions are stuck up my throat like shit on a constipated day.
Maybe I don't have the fucking courage to say it to your face.
And that makes me a hypocryte.
But fuck, help me understand why everyone must,and will do their best to suck up and follow your every move.
Even people who god forsake hate you.
Everyone vys for your attention and friendship.
Why? Popularity?
Fuck that. What's that when your working? And out of school?
Teachers aren't going to fucking put that down in your testimonial.
You can't put that on your resume,so why then,suck up?
You can't be all," I was cool in secondary school "
What are you now/then? nothing.
Just ordinary.
ASS KISS?
And when I don't agree I am ostracized for my critical opinions.
But when she does is, she is noted and raised high on a pedistole.
What makes her so different that she can make you feel so low?
Why let her? I don't and for that I am treated different.
Maybe sometimes her words hurt me.
But it deffinetly doesn't change my confidence.
Low self-esteem, BULL SHIT.
Sleep with all the lights on.
Your not so happy and your not so secure.
So maybe thats why you need popularity.
I'd really like to see you come undone.
For once.And give the whole world a reason to hate you.
At least the people you know.
As for tmr's youth day,it's just another day.
Another day for everyone to compete with their
friends about who looks good and what would have looked
better with your top or bottom.
We're not 21.
But the sooner we are,the sooner the fun.
Fuck,I'm gonna work my ass of and shove it in your face.
You don't always do better than me.
-
I may sound jealous,but trust me I'm not.
These are my thoughts,my words.
Take this shit and remember me in your grave,bitch.

2005-06-25T19:24:00.000+08:00

Sleep with all the lights on
You're not so happy, you're not secure
And you're dying to look cute in your blue jeans
But you're plastic just like everyone
Just like everyone
And that face you paint is pressed
Impressing most of us as permanent
And I'd like to see you undone
College night will draw the crowds
Dorms unload and you're heading out
Here is your moment to shine

Making up a history
It's nothing from the life you lead
But man, will they buy all your lines?

Sleep with all the sheets off
Baring your mattress, baring your soul
And you're dying to look smooth with your tattoos
But you're searching just like everyone, could be anyone
And those friends that you have are the best
Impressing most of us as permanent
And I'd like to see you undone

Youth's the most unfaithful mistress
Still we forge ahead to miss her
Rushing our moment to shine

Making up a history
It's nothing from the life you lead
But man, will they buy all your lines?

We're not twenty-one
But the sooner we are
The sooner the fun will begin
So get out your fake eyelashes
And fake I.D.'s,
And real disasters ensue
It's cool to take these chances
It's cool to fake romances
And grow up fast, and grow up fast
And grow up fast, and grow up fast

2005-06-25T11:22:00.000+08:00

So, I've decided to grow out of my old stuff.
Start a new.
& to my new blog,
I update you when I can.
& if you aren't happy,
pick someone else to read about.